Review: Pulse 8 Night Club, St Austell

I like writing these reviews. I generally spend a few days writing them in my head before laying them down in zeroes and ones. This period of inner review reflection, I think, gives better quality reviews at the end of the day.

But to review St Austell’s only club, Pulse 8, which last night I went to again, I don’t feel a pause for reflection is required.

Pulse 8 is a rubbish club. It is a soulless, spiritless wasteland of recreation that the Gods of Funk and the Angels of Pop never bless. I think the name is actually a reference to how exciting it is in terms of heart beats per minute.

I won’t even sit here and hurl creatively carved insults at it. I won’t lay down my clubbing credentials as some kind of justification for how bad I know this club to be. This wastes my time and, my dear reader, it wastes your time.

It’s not all negative….

Actually, it is I am afraid. Hang the DJ. Get some promoters to run the nights rather than just open the doors… yawn. This town must be full of cool bright young things who would love the opportunity to put on some club nights in what is a really super venue in a town that is desperate for some pulse.



Postscript: I have heard that there is a new night just started in town inside Grant’s Snooker club. We will be reviewing it soon.