Newsflash: Cornwall has dropped to being only slightly less lethargic than Devon

Last week saw two comparative failures for Cornwall. Firstly there was the failure of the spirit of democracy in England, about Cornwall. Secondly there was Cornwall sliding down the rankings of regional lethargy.

Cornwall, normally low on the lethargy charts crept up, past the West Midlands to sit just below Devon, a position it hasn't held since 1984 and the Cornwall Coliseum's crucial role in Live Aid.

"Cornish non-lethargy is generally world class, at least for Western Europe," said CLA spokesman Wendle K Montezuma. "Devon has had a slight drop in lethargy thanks to that new shopping mall in Plymouth, but that shouldn't explain this dip. This is off the scale."

In related news, William Hill have just announced 4:15.9 against Cornwall beating Brighton and Hove.

Review: Kasbah Seafood Platter, Truro

I get a lot of people asking me, every single day: "Whats the best thing about writing the The MidCornwall Blog?" Sure, it's great to have chicks on tap, as many as I want, 24/7. It's great to have an endless stream of cash, drugs and free pasties. Its great to know that 90% of people in Cornwall only have a computer because of MidCornwall.com. But most of all, I'm in it for the platters.

You can take away my liberty and my dignity, but provide me with an oversized plate covered with a selection of various tasty morsels and frankly, I'm anyone's.

The Seafood Platter at the Kasbah is just a rock and roll fishy excuse to eat. Loads of different fish and shellfish, some fresh, some marinated... all really good. Could do with some olives or what have you, as it's pretty much all fish. But if you like fish, and you like platters, well, how wrong can you go with such a good seafood platter? And it only costs seven squid, which is not bad considering you can get a sandwich nearby costing £4.50.

Truro Coffee, House my other platter review

The Truth About This Island Cornwall

I remember, as a boy, camping on one of the moors with the scouts and the scoutmaster saying, as he nonchalantly brushed off cuckoo-spit from his pantaloons, "There are only four miles of land that separate Cornwall from England." I always believed that what the scoutmaster said was the truth.... and last night in the pub this point reemerged...

Is it true?
If it is true what does it mean?
If its not true why would he lie to me?


This morning I decided to mount an expedition to the source of the River Tamar to see if it was true.

• Hiking Books: Check.
• Waterproof coat: Check
• Compas: Check
• Shirt: Check/ Plaid
• Kendal Mint Cake: Check
• Google Earth: Check.

And what I found was that... yes... the river Tamar goes up to a point 4.3 miles from the north coast, as you can see in this expedition map I have painstakingly prepared:

Explore in Google Maps

Only four miles of land. The scoutmaster was right about this fact. Other facts he mentioned such as the need for "one on one woggle polishisng" I am still finding a tad on the moot side.

The BRIT Awards June 2007

Thanks for voting in the first Best Resturant In Truro Award, the results are in. The first in the list is the best and the last is the objectively worst resturant in Truro.

1. Katmandu Palace
2. Stingi Lulu's
3. Pippa's
   
4. Manning's
   
5. Chantek
6. Carbonara
7. Ganges
   
8. Pizza Express
9. One Eyed Cat
10. The Norway Inn

Quite a few surprises this month then. I'm surprised at the One Eyed Cat coming second last because its always been a classy yummalicious resturant from my experience. Its also quite interesting that 3 out of the top 4 have apostrophies. So stay tuned next month and we can see what has happened. To vote email thebritawards@midcornwall.com as described here:

The BRIT Awards: Vote for The Best Resturant In Truro Every Month On Midcornwall.com

Review: Pocket Players Playing at Zaffiros, Truro

If you have been on the Cornish live music scene for any amount of time you will have heard of The Pocket Players. I haven't been on the scene at all, and so when I heard they were playing, I was like "...who?".

When I heard they were playing at Zafiros in Truro Zone One I had serious concerns; as we all know, Zafiros has the worst WiFi in the city.

I took a risk and I went.

With my domestic assistant away, I needed a Belle to take to the ball, so I took a friend.

J'ai arrive.... Ding dong, there was a throng.


Zafiros turned out to be a good venue for live music. The big window was a back-drop to the stage and the venue's substantial length and perfect girth gave it a nice flow. One severe downside to the evening was the fact that had I had my laptop on me, I would have been forced to use a flaky and over priced WiFi; with a shudder, I put this dismal thought behind me. I needed to prepare for the band both emotionally, and perhaps, in a little way, unemotionally.




Om Shanti Zafiros Om

Before I enter the review, I should say that this is my first ever live music review. I once started to write a review of an album but gave up. I have no idea what you're meant to write but I'm pretty sure it's a different kind of writing to reviewing a resturant. So here goes.

We gonna put a jiiihad on yo' ears

The Pocket Players are a concept art-punk/rock ensemble who fuse post-Oasisian masculinity against the neo-Pinkian aspects of the band's singer; in this sense they are cohere to an atypicial Myspaceian antithesis. This is a band that knows what it deserves but doesn't expect that trying not to get what it needs isn't going to allow them to let the fans not get exactly what the fans want.

And another core aspect of the band is that yeah, they are good musicians. I mean, I don't know how you really capture that in a "music review".... But lets just say that when you watch them they do their stuff and they do it well. And the stuff is all their own stuff (I think) and its good stuff, you know, like catchy or energetic or this and that and a little bit of.... ska (more on that later). They were better than Holly Golightly who graced this great city a couple of weeks ago. They were to Holly Golightly what R Kelly is to Gary Glitter.


If I had to sum them up in one word it would be..... alive and human. They layed down the funk and the rock and the pop and the smooth like they were plastering the Sistene Chapel of the Cornish Musosphere.( wooooooaaa slow down there boy, there is only so much room for pretension on the internet. Ed.) I didn't really listen to the lyrics that much but they seemed to contain references to culture and relationships. Definitely post-911.

HiFi Good WiFi Bad

The lead singer is kooky/sexy in that Bjork/Cerys Matthews/Susanne Vega/ Paris Hilton kind of a focal-flambee. The rest of the band reminded me of a troupe of young savant troubadours who had lost their way many times but now felt, musically at least, that they were translating the same Rosetta stone of rock. (ibid.Ed)

The Cornish Band Aid?

I have had a number of moments at live music venues over the years where, propelled by enthusiasm, drink and drugs and the lust of a buxom filly, I have proclaimed that band X is the best live band ever seen and sure to be the next big thing. I am wiser now. This is the reality, there is no way on Earth that in one years time The Pocket Players are going to be filling Wembley. But give them three years, a couple of huge publishing deals, front-panel on i-tunes for every song from their 2 million advance album deal and well, they could easy end up at Wembley.

Kannot Konnect 2 Server

Stadium Supergroup or real-deal local super-stars, The Pocket Players are a good good live band. But..... there is one gripe I have, other than the WiFi. During the set, there were unwelcome descents into Ska which made me feel that this band were more pallid-pastiche than musically-chic. Dire Dire Dire Die Pocket Players don't you ever play in the City again. Only joking, the decent into Ska wasn't bad, I just find it makes me feel like bleaching perfectly good denim.


Conclusion: It's all good dawg.

I'm not going to tell you to sell all your possessions and become a Pocket Players's groupie. I would recommend pirating their album, but that would be wrong of me. Here is how rock and roll I am, I find reviewing pub roasts much easier than music. Hey I know, rather than read my review see for yourself on their myspace page:

http://www.myspace.com/pocketplayers